Psychedelic therapy Netherlands

@mathijs

My first ego death during a psychedelic trip went like this….

The thought of myself resisting because I was preoccupied with the thought of myself existing prevented the surrender to ego death. It was a replay of thoughts in my head that went like this: “I think, therefore I am. I exist therefore I can think I exist. So if I can think I exist then I really exist, right? Is it real that I exist?" Many variants of these sentences haunted my mind while it suddenly seemed that I was standing next to my own bed, but I was actually physically in bed. My alternate self told me that everything would be fine to reassure me only my alternate self had to hear that again from another alternate self and then on to the infinity of alternate selves until it came full circle and that I was basically against the alternate me said everything was going to be okay and at that point the alternate me walked out of the room for my feeling and then I ended up in ego death.

How the ego death feels exactly and what it does is difficult to explain in words. It seems as if your ego that needs and wants everything no longer exists and that the boundaries between me as an individual and the universe are no longer there. It's hard to realize where my human exterior ceases to exist. Everything is connected. During an ego death, the word satisfaction applies to me since the ego does not want anything.

In fact, everything is also connected because everything affects everything. Our environment partly determines how we behave and what we think. In everyday life we do see ourselves as individuals and separate from the rest. We need that secretion to survive and to take care of our basic needs. Sometimes we go through with all the consequences and then an experience like ego death can show you the other side of the story and then be more balanced in normal life.